Sunday, November 22, 2015

Please accept my apologies for not posting sooner. I am in the hospital until Noël. I "should" be up & posting by the New Year. A Joyous Holiday Season to all of you!

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Good morning and Welcome! dear friends, to the Scales of Ma’at for the 15-Nov-2015: my Heart card is the 3 of Spheres and the Feather of Truth today is the 9 of Scepters. (Today’s deck is the *Liber T: Tarot of Stars Eternal* by Andrea Serio & Roberto Negrini. It is patently a Golden Dawn system deck, in fact VERY similar to Harris’ deck for Crowley. Over the years, I haven’t worked with it because of its bad press [stupidity on my part]. I find, however, that it is a WONDERFUL deck in its own right, one can use it as “training wheels”” for a Thoth deck I suppose and it is far more clear in its presentation of the symbolism than the original Thoth Tarot. Fuck all you critics, I like it!) Today, I’ve drawn two minor arcana cards – I’ll admit to a bit of childishness; when I don’t draw a Major as one of my cards, I’m always just a bit disappointed, a feeling which I immediately dismiss because I know that ALL 78 cards have an unique message for me each & every time I see them, Major or minor. Still . . . . Ha, at least I can laugh at myself. Today I have drawn the 3 of Spheres as my Heart, well, okay; let’s take a look at his bones, then: aka “Works”, lives in Binah in the Tree of Life by the path of Earth. In astrology he is Mars in the 2nd decan of Capricorn (no shit, the card makes that pretty clear!) Here, “. . . the Three of Disks (Spheres, ed.) enters Binah, the fields of understanding and perception, initiating the process where the project that began in the Two of Disks is viewed and understood against its surrounding i.e. in its completion. The card also talks of the alchemical wedding, in which the alchemical mercury combines Sulphur with salt, thus building the living gold (the philosopher's stone). It implies the basic idea of Earth, the crystallization of its powers and qualities, the commencement of matter to be established.” (Raven) The name of the card is Works, implying a first taste of victory, an admission that progress was made. His drive is manifestation and his Light is progress & crystallization. In general, it’s an odd mechanism that operates in Tarot, isn’t it? The higher up in number one goes, the further from the Ace and thus from the purest manifestation of the suit, until in 10 it “almost” reaches over-maturation and begins the process of putrefaction, UNLESS on moves on. Here at 3 I am still “close to the message,” so to speak. I still have Power; I am at the birth of it, in a way. But “Oh! Oh Woe is Me!’ (throwing my left hand up to defend myself from the evil assault of ill-fortune while my right seeks the violet smelling salts on the night table) What has one here? Ha! My Feather of Truth today is the 9 of Scepters, which, while horribly threatening-seeming, IS actually a card of Vigor here, of triumph over adversity (There! Take THAT! you fucking fucked-up leg, I’m having you replaced and reconstructed! Screw you!), of a Recovery of Health! Hallelujah, Happy Horus!!!Let’s take a look at 9’s bones: aka “Strength”, he lives in Yesod in the Tree of Life, arriving by Fire. In astrology he is the Moon in the 2nd decan of Sagittarius (weirdly oneiric, isn’t it?) and the fiery Wands have reached the happy Nine, the number that reflects on itself. The Nine of Wands remembers its own qualities, showing the full powers of the fiery element rising again. So the card shows strength, determination and discipline, preparing itself for the final step to completion.  His Drive is Spiritual truth & realization, while his Light is a combination of the consciousness with the unconsciousness. The 9 is VERY prone to contradictions! I like to think that this reading is about my upcoming hospital stay to have my left leg eaten by rabid weasels and replaced by cold, unfeeling plastic, just like my heart! LOL! No, no, no, I feel, believe me! That’s an old Mark from decades ago, when I lived by the precept, “Submit, or slay me if you can.” They all submitted, obviously, I’m still here, but OY VEY! The karma I collected! I’ll be working that off until the day I make the Change. People think I’m arrogant NOW, they don’t know 1/10th of it! Oh well, live & learn; even a cold-hearted arrogant bastard has to drop the mask sooner or later. I LIKE the 9; he has NEVER been quite the almost-disaster, the Hell-barely-dodged or sign of Impending Doom to me that he is the RWS system. You know, at that stage of the game, when you have lost or been beaten so badly, the 10 serves just as well as the 9 for portraying the “Oh, I’m fucked.” The 9 here still believes he can pull the 9 from disaster, as a matter of fact is the reflection of Strength itself! But like all 99.99% pure incarnations of anything, sometimes it isn’t enough, even loaded “pur et dur” like that (Fr. – pure & hard), to change the nature of the 10. Normally, this 9 can tell me that I am on the right path. Be wise and distill my judgement from the best sources. I need to hold on, and to see it through. “Know and respect yourself, be true to yourself and value yourself by walking your own path.  Defend your spirit without compromising – be honest.  Preserve your spirit – keep mentally, physically and emotionally fit and your spirit will naturally guide you.” (CrystalClearReflections) Well, yes, I’m glad, more than glad to get some Strength application as I head (feet first) into surgery. (This brings me to a different point. I won’t be writing in the blog normally for a while – this medical wanderjahr is expected to last until Christmas: operation, hospital recovery, then imprisonment in a tower of mirrors until a true Tarot friend shatters all the illusions and sets me free. . . LOLOL, no, and then to a re-education facility for up to 6 weeks of rehab and crying bitterly at night, alone, in the dark . . . LOLOL.  I’ll be fine as long as the occasional visitor brings a joint or three – please vibe that for me out there! Thanks! So wish me well.) I’m okay with today’s reading, no problems at all. I’m not anticipating surgery, but my 3 of Spheres tells me it is going to be done well. My 9 isn’t signaling my upcoming degeneration but the fact that I am carrying a lot of Strength in to this little dance party. So, for today, I acknowledge and grow into my Strength.   


Friday, November 13, 2015


Good morning and Welcome! dear friends, to my daily Scales of Ma’at 2-card reading, for today 14-Nov-2015: VII the Chariot is my Heart card and the 9 of Coins is riding as the Feather of Truth today. Today’s deck is a new acquisition, *The Raven’s Prophecy Tarot* by Maggie Stievfater; with accompanying book named “Illuminating the Prophecy.”  I haven’t cracked the book much yet, but the cards are wonderful!! Does everything those “detached Nature” decks try to do and fail, whereas she succeeds. What usually fails is the ability to make fitting similarities between their artistic vision and the requirements of Tarot. She does so beautifully; with striking NEW imagery for some cards that is STILL highly appropriate. I really like this deck.) (There are only 4 levels in my grading system; R.R. Like, Really Like, Like, and Despise. 3 out of 4 are varying degrees of party, the 4th is the equalizer and failure. You may as well go home and smear yourself with dung and weep at the feet of your spouse or mother. I wasn’t going to write this morning. I pulled the VII, said to myself, “Yeah, I now I’m impatient to get my ass in the hospital Monday so that they can open one of my legs from perineum to toe and see if they can actually detach the 15,000,000 lbs. of steel that has fused itself into the bone over the last two decades, destroying all of my cartilage in the process. (Whether this can be accomplished, only opening me up and LOOKING will tell them. X-Rays don’t cut it.) It is promised that the surgery will be long and delicate, and that I’ll be out for a while, I don’t image it can be any more delicate than the last time: that time they had to install a shunt between my liver and my stomach WHILE BOTH were hemorrhaging. Not that I’m using my body to challenge the limits of surgery, trust me, I’m not!! (After the shut, the docs, here at the center of Medicine for the entire Western World [Montpellier – look it up], the doctors said that modern medicine would be able to do NOTHING to stop a painful death if I aggravated my liver again with alcohol. And you know? In that case, the VII the Chariot DID speed me towards not only the hospital but much greater happiness as a non-drinker. That was 3 years ago. This time, I’m burning to get there; I want to be on the 9 of Coins again REAL soon. I know it means wealth, but for me that Wealth IS my loved ones, being surrounded by them and being alive to share a laugh or a tea with my boys and a stirring moment of victory with my girls – I fuckin’ LOVE my family, the family I Built here, during the last 12 years, and DAMN!! I’ve worked fucking HARD at it. So yeah, I’m invested here, I’ve got “family and friends,” my LIFE is here. I don’t mind giving it up if it is my time, I HONESTLY DON’T, I’m ready to move on at any moment, but I want my family to experience life as a string of bubbles of happiness from here unto Eternity. The Chariot is a do-right-guy; too, he’s no slouch. Let’s take a quick look at his bones, VERY quick: The Chariot is on the Path of Cheth (18) on the Tree of Life. In astrology he is Mars in connection with Sun or Mercury; Mars as symbol of enforcement combines with Sun as symbol for Will or Mercury as the symbol of the Way. He’s in Cancer and on the way from Binah to Geburah. He’s Water, a little surprisingly, and his number, 7, is the number of divine and earthly harmony. “The Chariot stands for combined powers, ready to move forward. It represents the dynamic principle and the human will to proceed, the ability to use the powers of life and keep the outer and inner balance.” (Raven) His Drive is the will to conquer and his Light shines on the awakening of powers and finding one's place in life. (For the general info, I really DISlike the way her book is written here, it is ALL negativity, and that simply isn’t correct. I can see I am going to have to COMPLETELY re-write the book. Harrumph!") Facing us as the Feather of Truth is a lovely image, the first full blossom of the deck, the 9 of Coins. Materially it is right AND wrong; we are alright, but the future is grey to grim, so to speak. On the whole, however, I believe we feel blessed. We are relatively happy, we have a life which we can comfortably live. Let’s take a look at 9’s bones: Nine of Coins – aka Gain, is in Yesod in the Tree of Life, through Earth. In astrology he’s Venus in the 2nd decan of Virgo. The 9 of Disks have reached Yesod, the fields of imagination and reflection, but also of foundation, and in the latter the Disks meet their happiest realms. Fully satisfied with themselfes, they settle down comfortably and gather in the crops, the well-earned rewards for good accomplishment, while enjoying the shining charm of Venus putting everything in sweet light. The card can also stand for health, or successful reconvalescence after illness or injury. With Yesod - reflection and imagination - inside of the perfect harmony of the 9, the 9 of Coins has returned to the middle column of the Tree of Life, enlightened by the beauty of Tiphareth that resides above and just one step from Malkuth as its root and origin, the completion of the journey." (Raven) Rarely, sometimes I think Raven gets carried away on his own wings, but that IS the basic answer. Today’s going to be okay and calm – for both me and my family. I know for myself, I’ll be getting ducks in a row and in order for my absence; the wife isn’t a big self-help starter. It’s ALL good, though, it really is. Just get me to the hospital on time. (And speaking of which, I may or may not post tomorrow as usual. If I go on “silent running” for a while, it is simply me getting better, a process I’m told will take up to 6 weeks. Harrumph! “Not if I have anything to say about it, young man! BTW, you’re very cute, has anyone ever given you a private screen test?” Unfortunately, I have a feeling he would be very high maintenance.) The 9’s Drive is Love while his Light is compassion. I certainly hope so, today, for my sake. In other words: “Life fills me with wonder and Light.”   


Thursday, November 12, 2015

Good morning and Welcome, dear friends, to my Scales of Ma’at 2 card daily draw, where one cared, the 1st, represents your Heart, and the 2nd card is the Feather of Truth, the headdress of the Goddess Ma’at (Maat or Ma'at was the ancient Egyptian concept of truth, balance, order, law, morality, and justice. Maat was also personified as a goddess regulating the stars, seasons, and the actions of both mortals and the deities, who set the order of the universe from chaos at the moment of creation.-Wikipedia) I have a platonic love affair going on with Ma’at. She is something I admire, because my life has been the very model of instability, the god Seth. If you don’t know about Seth, you should. He’s Osiris evil brother who arranges his murder; The murder was avenged by Osiris’ son, Horus, conceived by a magical act of Isis and Osiris’ penis after the latter‘s death. So, here we have the 8 of Cups (AGAIN§) as my Heart card, and for the feather truth I get a Major Arcana, IX the Hermit. As card readers, we are trained more in the interpretation of the Majors; I believe we should be intensely trained in in the interpretation of the minors; they are more numerous, more closely aligned with human behavior and with what people are and are not like. But I’ll ride that three-humped camel later, right now, today’s cards. (Today’s deck is *The Darkana Tarot* by Janden Hale. It’s grubby. “Ma! Dere’s a fishtail in dis dumpster. You want it, or is it mine now? C’mon, hurry, nights comin’ an’ we gotta be outta da wind before it starts for da’ night.” It’s in smudgy black ‘n’ white. It is PERFECT for when you want to do a little Shadow work but not go off the dep end. It will be honest but grubby & uncomfortable. Remember that & you’ll be OK.) My heart card is AGAIN the 8 of Cups. Let’s do the Time Warp again; here is yesterday’s 8 of Cups: /// lives in Hod on the Tree of Life, sailing in on Water. In astrology he’s Saturn in the 1st decan of Pisces, and here is the key line from his character summation: “The Eight of Cups has driven the debauch of the Seven to absolute excess, the delusions have lost all attraction and all that's left is frustration. The sequence of the numbers has reached Hod, calling for structure and logic, but the emotional waters of Briah cannot be happy with this call and remain in dumb resignation.” (Raven) That describes the 8 of Cups down to a “T”.  His Drive is Temporary success whereas his Light is transformation; thus one is too small & the other overly grand. But the idea is, basically, “Zeus! I’m fatigued unto death with these questions & the difficulties & stupidities & incapable spirits & minds; I WASH MY HANDS OF IT!” I do this with a deliberate will to unchain myself from the insolvabilities of the past and seek their “magical” resolution by simply turning to the future and marching onward. “I just simply can’t fuckin’ stay here!”  is the message./// So, I’ll get a DOUBLED influence of this INISTENT card – “MOVE ON, MARK, MOVE ON!!” Well, hell, I am, I think. My Heart may not appreciate the gradual withdrawal of massive doses of emotion, but I DO. As we ALL know, I hope, drama is High Maintenance, and the goal is to be as really low maintenance as possible. IF a bed is comfortable, sleep there. Don’t pull the Princess and the Pea Act. At least not on me – I give that shit short shrift. I’ve been told recently from several sources that I am being too open, giving too much away of myself in these readings by some, encouraged by others. I thank both sides for at least reading me! Ha! But it doesn’t really matter what anyone thinks, I have one, unique voice, and while it may have many masques, it is always the same voice, crying Liberty & Will. Our Feather card today has certainly picked wisely, one might almost say he picked with the wisdom of a holy man: IX, the Hermit. To me he looks kind of Holmsian/Watsonian/Freudian/Jungian; you know, all of that, “But Mother, wake up! We entered the 20th century now! It is 1901!!!” Quickly, his bones: IX - The Hermit - Path of Yod (20) in the Tree of Life. In astrology he is Saturn as the keeper of the gate, or Saturn in Aquarius, standing for the search of wisdom and the keeping of independence. On the Zodiac in the Virgin, and axes between Chesed and Tiphareth. His Element is Earth and his number, 9 as the number going back into itself (3 x 3). His Drive is Retreat, inner vision and introspection, whereas his Light is wisdom and the Inner Light. On the surface, I rarely feel like him anymore, and when I did so it was for a very short time in relative terms. That particular carapace has been lifted off this old tortoise, and if I’m to put it back on and dedicate any real time to it, I’ll need some help; I might even need an acolyte. PLUS, just on the 3D Side of things, coming out of this operation next week and the reeducation towards the end of December, I am being GIVEN THE TIME ON A GOLDEN PLATTER TO DO EXACTLY THIS. Well, you do NOT look a ToL gift horse in the mouth, you might see the real you in the reflection off his pearly whites . . . I AM looking forward to (8 of Cups) moving on and leaving SEVERAL anchors behind when I exit the physical process of healing under their care. I am looking FORWARD to having the time to spend with MYSELF, to sit down and take honest-to-Light inventory, take stock of myself from top to bottom and then make a report on the “State of the Nation.” AND THEN 8C and IXH and I will step out of our meditation plane and re-enter in a more active mode the Journey. Today, I dwell at the center of myself.  
  


Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Good morning and Welcome! dear friends to my Scales of Ma’at daily reading for 12-Nov-2015: my Heart card today is the 8 of Cups (again!) and the Feather of Truth today is the 7 of Wands. (Today’s deck is *The Lilith Bible Tarot* by Lorelei Douglas. Lorelei also gave us *The Golden Age of Hollywood Tarot*, so if you know that deck you already have a grasp on her style of art & presentation. Personally, I love it! Lorelei is simply REALLY clear about what she wants a card to be, and that is immensely helpful to the reader who doesn’t have the vaguest idea what some abstract artist’s splashes of color are supposed to mean. It’s a “Bible story,” but it IS different, as you will have guessed from the title. Quick teaser – if you don’t know, Lilith was the 1st wife of Adam, Eve was the 2nd. [Out of curiosity, does anyone else picture Lilith as a brunette and Eve as a blonde?] Now, for the rest, either go spend the day at your local metaphysical bookstore or open Lorelei’s deck. I LIKE it!) I’m getting very familiar with a card to which normally I would pay little attention. The 8 of Cups, (Crowley’s) Indolence again. Sigh, OK, here are the BARE bones, I’m not going to wax deep and profound about him today. 8 lives in Hod on the Tree of Life, sailing in on Water. In astrology he’s Saturn in the 1st decan of Pisces, and here is the key line from his character summation: “The Eight of Cups has driven the debauch of the Seven to absolute excess, the delusions have lost all attraction and all that's left is frustration. The sequence of the numbers has reached Hod, calling for structure and logic, but the emotional waters of Briah cannot be happy with this call and remain in dumb resignation.” (Raven) That describes the 8 of Cups down to a “T”.  His Drive is Temporary success whereas his Light is transformation; thus one is too small & the other overly grand. But the idea is, basically, “Zeus! I’m fatigued unto death with these questions & the difficulties & stupidities & incapable spirits & minds; I WASH MY HANDS OF IT!” I do this with a deliberate will to unchain myself from the insolvabilities of the past and seek their “magical” resolution by simply turning to the future and marching onward. “I just simply can’t fuckin’ stay here!”  is the message. Today he has an odd Feather of Truth to weigh himself against, the 7 of Wands (Crowley’s “Valour.”) Quick quick quick; in Netzach on the Tree, by fire; astrology, Mars in 3rd decan of Leo, Drive is courage and Initiation. The illustration is wonderful; it is the story of Rizpah, a concubine of Saul in the Old Testament. Pick up a Bible and read it if it interests you. The point of it is that even when you have lost it all, it is Right to defend what you have left, no matter how small, no matter how “miserable” (in the true sense of the word, “worth nothing.”) So, what do I have to defend that seems “worth nothing” after my supposed despoliation but is actually worth having? I can only think of one, immediate thing; my Faith that what I believe is right. I will defend THAT unto Death, I know I will, there is simply no question in it. And Part of what I believe is X the Wheel, it CHANGES, folks, by all the demons of Ammit’s abode, it changes! These last two decades have been nothing BUT change, fucking PROFOUND change, in my life. The two decades before that was living out the ultimate uselessness of what I HAD learned until then, and my first two decades were spent either having all my perceptions fucked with and fucked up or doing it myself. While my body was growing. While I was forming my intellect. While I “should have been” “printed” with the templates for an enlightened man, instead I got turned loose with an unreadable handbook in an unknown language. It was a massive clusterfuck, I was pissed as hell, and I demanded that either management apologize personally to me or I get a FULL refund. Neither happened. I was told to get my ass on down the road and out of the way, I was blocking traffic. I didn’t want to live out my life in TOTAL ignorance, so I compromised with myself, “I’ll get out of the way FOR NOW, but I’ll come back, and I’ll want answers, and they had BETTER be here.” That’s me, in that red dress on that mountain, defending what I have left. 63 years has taken most of it from me; the youth, the energy, the drive, all of MY “5 sons” who were killed because an unjust (or uncaring) cosmos didn’t think I was worth what I did. I vowed the cosmos was wrong, because I still had and have one thing, my WILL. I can conquer stars. You know, there is SO much more you learn about yourself as you age. You learn how powerful you are, in this case. And why, for the most part, you were ALL wrong ALL those years about what Power really is, about how you use it and how you don’t, and HOW TO STEP BACK. That last one is hard, hard, HARD to learn, but when it saves your life a couple of times, you learn. My problem was NEVER “bein’ a coward an’ steppin’ down,” my problem was “bein’ a fool an’ steppin’ up.” Idiot characterizations, I know. But true. You see, I can look back now and say, “This is MINE. I am the Lord and Lady of that which I survey. This is my kingdom, small though it may be, and I defend it unto and beyond death.” I AM that 7 of Wands, just as I am also the 8 of Cups always looking for the 9. The difference between the 8 of Cups and the Seven of Wands is what gave birth to the Mark card of today, and today, I welcome Life and I embrace Opportunity.  
  


Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Good morning and Welcome! dear friends, to my Scales of Ma’at daily draw for 11-Nov-2015: as my Heart card, I have the Queen of Swords, and the Feather of Truth today is the 3 of Wands. (Today’s deck is *The Archeon Tarot* by Timothy Lantz. Excellent “psychic” deck! RWS schema. Recommended for working on your Intuition with the cards and exercising your psychic reach.) As I was mixing the cards, I the Magician fell out and without thinking I slipped him back into the deck. THEN I thought, “Oh shit, maybe he was my Heart card today?” On verra (we’ll see) . . . So, let’s take a look at this rhythmic, beating organ’s appearance on the Scales today. She’s wearing widow’s weeds today as the Queen of Swords! Ha! Did you know that the Queen of Swords is considered the primary signifier of widowhood by a lot of readers? I have to laugh – I’m going in to the hospital Monday morning for a major operation and you’re giving me the widowhood card? LOL, fucker. I am going to take that card, and I am just going to step up and assume it, take responsibility; I happen to think it can very possibly represent “our” (Anima & Mark) widowhood as I accept the new, clearer vision I’m being offered through the 8 of Cups yesterday; I accept that my life and its’ circumstances has changed; I acknowledge that my emotional waves of the moment are not only signs of the cosmic push right now on our consciousness but the result of an interior healing with my Anima; and most of all, I reaffirm my commitment to the ideal that I alone am responsible for my Life, that my Will is my own. I’m not a Thelemite, but I think I might live in the suburbs; I am very wedded to my Kemetics. Also, while I give full respect and acknowledgment to the “Nightside” of the Tree of Life, and the Goetic and Qliphothic traditions, and use many of their techniques as highly potent “spices” in my psychic kitchen, I don’t “live” there, as much as it calls out to that “Bohemian Gothic” side of my nature. As for even darker traditions, I don’t have the time to waste on those delusions, I’m a busy man. Also, I’m already a widower, haven’t you heard, Unconscious? I’ve lost a LOT recently, in fact through most of 2015, it has been a year of “loss,” through BOTH Death and Process, and “stripping down” to the core me and turning the log over so the sunlight can “clean” the Earth. (My mother died on my 63rd birthday this year; it was dizzyingly bizarre.) As I told a “Queen of Swords” friend the other day, I am in the midst of transformation into Mark 2.0, and “it ain’t pretty!” As the motto of a certain Tarot group to which I contribute states, “Enlightenment is a destructive process. It has nothing to do with becoming better or being happier. Enlightenment is the crumbling away of untruth. It’s seeing through the façade of pretense. It’s the complete eradication of everything we imagined to be true.” (Adyashanti) Very quickly, the Queen’s bare bones are: “Queen of the Thrones of Air,” she is in Binah on the Tree of Life. In astrology she strides between 21° Virgo to 20° Libra. She is, of course, Water in the Air of Yetzirah. Her Drive is independence of mind and soul, and her Light is wisdom and perception. Under her influence, I can literally FEEL my emotions “drying out & sobering up” a bit from their recent gang rave. This is NOT a bad thing. Today she faces her Feather of Truth as the 3 of Wands. I love the illustration on the card, a Pegasus, a beautiful winged animal, and indeed today I NEED a winged steed because I need to escort the Queen (Air) to negotiations with The House of Wands; Fire needs Air. (Sometimes it gets confusing, holding a “United Nations” in my head, but that’s my job, so “Suck it up, pal, and get it on down the road.”) To be “here’s-your-refund”-honest with you, I can’t remember the last time I have spent giving ANY time to thinking about the 3 of Wands. I shan’t deprive myself of supper as a punishment, because here is my comeuppance – he’s in as the Pillar (!) today, and I have ignored him at all the balls and parties, so he has no reason to be well-disposed (It’s okay, I’m really not THAT far gone, it’s just a bit of card anthropomorphization. Don’t roll your eyes at ME, young lady!) His bones tell of his “more-or-less” noble character, however; aka Virtue, he lives in Binah on the Tree of Life, arriving of course by way of Fire. In astrology he is the Sun in the 2nd decan of Aries, which MAY be more pertinent here, as my birth sign is “in” the 1st decan of Aries. 27 March. Bedazzled by Greek myth as a child, I can still remember thinking that Pegasus and I would have been good friends, but it was important to remember Respect in that particular friendship; “Kids say the darnedest things, don’t they, Art?” (If you know to what that citation refers, then you are even older than me and should already know your way through these waters. Either help or get off, you old bladder! LOL.) “The Threes are connected to Binah - Understanding. The untouched energies of the Two's have met the 3, the number of synthesis and harmony. They're no longer solitudes; they face up their meanings and surroundings. The Three of Wands is called 'Virtue' - the powerful fire understands its responsibility.” (-Raven. I just love that bird’s stuff!) His Drive is creativity and his Light is accomplishment and nobility. Watch out for hubris, though, Pegs, I’m prone to it and so are you. As a Feather of Truth, he’s fairly vague, but I get the idea – I NEED to work on my understanding today, above all when dealing with that “Queen of Swords mirror-echo” that not only resides in me, but which I invoke when I want that “utterly cold bitch” side of me to take on a situation. That isn’t good for this Mark, honestly. I get WAY into it and I have to consciously claw my way back out to the surface & light & air. This reading today is all about me getting my shit together, not only as I “let go” but as I “open my eyes to the true Dawn.” I’m starting to see this operation next week not only as a medical procedure to correct an untenable situation but as an opportunity to psychically “load that mule down” with a LOT of the shit I need to get out of the house & into a trash can. Let the surgeons put out the trash; I’m busy on the foundations to support the superstructure. So, we started with an act of faith and we end with one, as well: I live out my beliefs in ALL my acts.   





Monday, November 9, 2015

Good morning and Welcome, dear friends, to my Scales of Ma’at for 10-Nov-2015: the 8 of Cups as my Heart card and as the Feather of Truth today I have the 10 of Swords. (Today’s deck is *The Byzantine Tarot* by John Matthews and Cilla Conway. Thematic, RSW schema. Lovely to read, especially if you enjoy Byzantine style art, which I do. I like it.) I had an interesting interaction with a friend, Terry, the other day; she had drawn a 3-card “Spread of Doom & Death”-type daily reading. Luckily, her question had been phrased in such a way that her choice of “need” versus “want” in the question turned out to be subtly, but Very important. I never freak on XIII, or XV, when I draw them . . . XVI can shake me a bit, depending on the *whole*, and this card, the 10 of Swords, is only now becoming more clear to me as I am obliged to face it by recent synchronicity. But that’s the Feather today, and it is better to start with my Heart card, today the 8 of Cups. First, let’s take a look at her bare bones: aka “Indolence,” she is in Hod on the Tree of Life, arriving by Water. In astrology she is Saturn in the 1st decan of Pisces. “The Eight of Cups has driven the debauch of the Seven to absolute excess, the delusions have lost all attraction and all that's left is frustration. The sequence of the numbers has reached Hod, calling for structure and logic, but the emotional waters of Briah cannot be happy with this call and remain in dumb resignation. Nevertheless, happy or not, the call must be heard to leave the bogs of numbness, and the Eight of Cups tells us to abandon the past, leave the current situation, make up our minds most honestly and open our eyes to upcoming changes.” (Raven) I like that take, and it jigsaws in nicely with my current situation (medical) as well as a “Take Notice” on the many societal maladies & hopes upon which I have been meditating for a while now. If you read me regularly at all, you know I believe we are living at “the end of Empire.” The world needs emergency surgery but all the surgeons refuse to give up their cocktail hours to fix it. I soar from *despair* to Hope when I contemplate the up & coming young, and I plummet down again when I focus on the world’s grave illness. I refuse to shut it out & live selfishly only for my own enlightenment & escape, so I “choose” to suffer, I suppose. Mr. Matthews reads this card as “progress through uncertainty.” I think it may be just a bit broader than that in application to me today – face facts, Mark, you’re life has changed, you are less financially free now (inflation & retirement) and you are going in for major surgery in one week, which can always raise issues of uncertainty. I am being called upon more & more & more to throw myself upon the mercies of the Cosmos and to trust in the Lord of Light & Darkness and all his many faces; can I make that Leap of Faith? I hope so, I believe so, yes. I know I don’t want to nor am I ready, just yet, to check out and continue the Journey in a different vehicle. I’d like to “keep this car another year or two, at least for now.” We’ll see if YHVH is cooperative when we get to the dealer’s lot! I need to jump to the Feather of Truth now, to add the depth missing from the “notice on the billboard.” The 10 of Swords – Ruin – is certainly not the jolliest card to show up on my doorstep right now, as I prepare to enter the hospital for surgery. But I am beginning to understand, “down in my gut,” how I can extend my Trust & Faith in the Journey, on the Path, from my already-established-peace-with-stepping-through-the-doorway, from XIII, to XVI AND the 10 of Swords. Quickly, his bones: he is in Malkuth on the Tree of Life, by way of Air. In astrology he is the Sun in the 3rd decan of Gemini. “With the Ten of Swords, the development of human intellect has consequently reached its last step - from the birth of intellect within the Ace to complete ruin within the grounds of the Ten. The card teaches the lesson that endless fighting ends with destruction, endless analysis with the complete loss of hope and belief. It forces the lesson of the Nine of Swords to its inevitable conclusion. But with the Sun above it, it does not lack every hope. It will silently return to its origin again, to the first spark of mind in the Ace, to start all over again. The big hope in here is that the lessons from the journey absolved won't get forgotten. By the way, every Ten in the Minor Arcana stands for the end of a process, for the need to restart or at least variate, only the Ten of Swords have an amazingly crude way to put it into words - that's just the way they are.” (Raven) That’s my good friend Raven (he doesn’t know we are friends, but that is of small import; I am always grateful for his/her take!)  With his Drive being transformation in his Light of rebirth, the end of a cycle and wisdom through pain and loss, I already know this gentleman quite well – age does that, you know, you find you’ve already met a LOT of the party-goers. I know it is certainly *ruin* for me entire left leg, whose interior is going to be largely replaced by plastic next week. (I was surprised to learn that while the surgeons can whip out a hip replacement without breaking a sweat, what they need to do to my *leg*, not my hip, is causing extra care to be taken that I don’t decide to do my final reading right there in the operating room – ha! if only. (Not that I want to die right now, far from it; but it would be a way to go, n’est-ce pas ? And for effect, a few spectators, as you turn over XIII and immediately drop dead right in front of the cards. That would make me howl with laughter, so to speak!) I’m not feeling nearly as freaked about the 10 as I would have a year ago – my experiences have changed the future, again. (Hint, hint!) That depended on MY taking the effort to understand those changes and to implement them. So, you know what? Bring it on, 10, I’m ready to give you this battle, but be advised; I WILL win the war. “In this moment, here and now, I create my future.”   


Sunday, November 8, 2015

Good morning and Welcome! to my 2-card daily reading, the Scales of Ma’at, for 09-Nov-2015: as my Heart card, I have a rarity today, a double, III the Empress & XVI The Tower (I will explain) and as the Feather of Truth I drew XVII the Star. (Today’s deck is *The Wild Unknown Tarot*, my very favorite off-the-wall deck; no traditional Tarot images here! Yet it speaks, and it speaks loud & clear and volumes of it! There isn’t really a way to describe this Tarot; Google it, do a little research, and if ANYTHING in you moves a bit to its’ images, BUY it. It’s really good.) Right off the Top - three Major Arcana, bing-badda-bing! And the reason for that double Heart card is that 1st I dealt XVI, the Tower, and as I am due for surgery in a week, I asked for “Please!! Confirmation!” and drew III the Empress. In this deck, both are “tree” images. The theme of the Tree is confirmed, but hardly the Nature of it! I’m going to have to sit on this a bit and see if it hatches; I don’t particularly relish the thought, but I WOULD like to have a better grip on what I’m being told. This reading “could” be a recap of the theme that dominated my weekend, “the fall of the American Empire, the Interregnum of Chaos and the eventual new society which [hopefully!] shall replace it.” My weekend was dominated by the in-their-20s generation, thus the subject. I become more & more amazed as the extant, breadth & scope of their vision, fractured though it be right now, is shaping up. They KNOW that they won’t see the payoff, but hope their children & grandchildren do. This old heart cries by being so touched by their sincerity and hope. Good gods almighty I wish them luck! I find myself in love with an entire generation of “kids,” and my heart breaks at the beauty of each of them, of the soaring spirituality and beauty of their souls. This is probably the last Great Love of my life, and appropriately enough, it isn’t one person, it’s all of us as embodied in the young, in their dream. I find myself in Love, for the 1st time in my ragged old life, with Humanity. I hope I die still loving. However, back to the cards; I’ve been waxing high a lot lately about the feminine, my Anima, etc. Here she is as my answer to the confirmation, and as I write this, there is a girl singing in the background of my house who says, “It’s gonna be alright – no one can give it away, it’s gonna be alright.” Please be right. We know the Mother as our Hope, and here she is, doubled up, as both Empress and Star, and I’m gonna put my eggs in her basket and I’m gonna pray like hell that heaven will happen. I don’t have anything else to say today, I’m overwhelmed by our world, my sentiments, and my love for YOU.  I see bridges burning and I know that the only way home is onward.   




Friday, November 6, 2015

Good morning and Welcome! to my Scales of Ma’at 2-card daily reading for 07-Nov-2015 : as my Heart card I have drawn II the High Priestess and as the Feather of Truth I have the 9 of Cups reversed. (Today’s deck is one of my favorites in the “new-age-y, visionary, flux & reflux” style of art Tarot very popular here in the early 21st century, *The Archeon Tarot* by Timothy Lanz. It speaks easily and deeply to me; whether it does to you is something you will want to find out on your own, indeed, it is the only way possible. There is great depth to the cards, but they also carry layers of symbology that are abundant enough to delight any scryer of cards. Go for it – it’s a deck worth having.) Well, let’s take a look at what I’ve got coming down the ‘pike for today; and a fine start it is, even if a bit hazy, with II the High Priestess. I rarely have face to face dealings with Her Grace; she is a bit off-putting to everyone. She reminds one of Kassandra walking into a Trojan feast and announcing, “I’ve got news!” but once one gets past the awkward news, the shadows and veils and electrum-plated quarter-moon headdress, she’s a perfectly normal, even banal, young girl. It is really rather the same with II the High Priestess; Guardian of the Galaxies, yes, she is that, but she is also Becky Next-Door who skinned her knee riding her bike and is making far too big a hue and cry about it. It is easy to let Astarte/Hekate/Circe confuse your senses and convince you that the only way forward is to put out your eyes, but as always you are hearing what you want to hear, not what she is saying; she says uncomfortable things. She can only speak Truth, and because of that, has invented an infinite number of ways to deliver it, even unto the point of making it appear false so that it appears true so that it appears false so that . . . etc. She’s a very, very smart & clever lady, our High Priestess (pre-requisites for even applying for the job!), and her greatest weapon is also her greatest shield, an astonishingly profound Intuition. She and the Magus form the Untenable Twosome, and there MUST be resolution. Look at her bones:   She is on the Path of Gimel (13) in the Tree of Life; she is the Moon in Scorpio (!!) in the 12th House, lunar consciousness, Scorpio standing for the powers of the unconscious. House 12 stands for the mysteries. She forms the connection between Kether and Tiphareth, and OF COURSE is of Water. She IS Duality. Her Drive is the desire to find the inner sources, and she steers by the Light of being one with the beginning of all and intuitive knowledge. If she is visiting my Heart today, then I am in for a good yet profound day – because I meet her so rarely “in the flesh,” when I do it always has deep reverb in my own unconscious and Intuition. Without breaking my arm patting myself on the back, I’m pretty good in the Intuition department as is, I just fail at times (less & less) to know how to implement my intuition in order to benefit all involved. When she visits, I get a HUGE boost. She reminds me a lot of my mother, who was that type of person; she insisted I learn “beyond” what was taught, that I explore the Mysteries, but she offered no direct help, other than to constantly reaffirm the necessity to Awaken. (I’m not describing a frozen monster – she was a normal mother. This was the metaphysical side of her.)  Today she and I are keeping company in the ambiance of the 9 of Cups reversed. (We are usually hanging out together, on those rare occasions we do, in one or another of the upper Cups or Coins suites; she has a certain weakness for luxe.) IF I were going to give you my boardwalk gypsy fortune-telling machine interpretation of this card, it would be somewhere along the line of “stop being such a lazy, greedy, rich, arrogant bastard, okay?” But I’m not THAT shallow, and I wasn’t manufactured in Jersey specifically for the boardwalk in Atlantic City. And it doesn’t really matter anyway, because the Feather of Truth here is right-on on ONE level – we are experiencing financial difficulties,. . but hey, join the crowd, Mister! Speaking on different levels, I DO believe I can correctly interpret this, as it is allied today with the II, as a “strongly-worded” piece of advice; “You’ve been living in a period of ‘faste et luxe.’ Your coffers are FULL unto overflowing with the keys to knowledge you have accumulated, but you haven’t had the time to actually OPEN the damned library and ‘bone-up’! So-o-o-o, we’re going to help; the river is going to be dammed for a while, thus giving you time to sort through and at least absorb a goodly portion of that which you have attained!”  This is fine with me, and I don’t even mind that this little cog of control has been taken from my care; I DO need the time to sit down and ABSORB what I have so assiduously collected over the past three years or so. I did it then because of a life-threatening event, I don’t want to have to be ‘cued’ like that again! So, let’s do this one NOW, while Nature is giving me a pause from which I CAN profit enormously, if I know where to invest my time . . . and I DO. To throw light on this from a different angle: money & I have always had an odd, quirky arrangement; the upshot of it is that I never suffer from ABSOLUTE pennilessness, but I am never terribly, stinking rich, either, and must “sometimes do the bidding of a fickle Fortune.” It’s a good deal and works in my favor 99% of the time. So I almost ALWAYS take any reference in the cards to excessive richness or poverty as metaphysical language when applied to myself, not factual language. Sure, I’ve been dirt poor, but THAT was a choice of youth when I wanted to be “free and live on the beach” . . . and mind you, it was the beach in Santa Barbara, not Papua, New Guinea. Ha! Spoiled youth – what are you gonna do? Now I say, ‘Just shoot ‘em all . . .’ Grin. Well, I shall think further on the 9 today and what it signifies in my life NOW, TODAY. And as for Her Grace, of course she may stay as long as she wishes, which I always hope is longer than it usually turns out to be. Filled with wonder and Light, my intuition works like an old and valued friend.   



Thursday, November 5, 2015

Good morning and Welcome! to my Scales of Ma’at 2-card daily reading for 06-Nov-2015: III the Empress is my Heart card and as the Feather of Truth sits XI Strength. (Today’s deck is *The Legend of Tarot* by Alex & Noa Page. A kind of *Legend of Zelda*/video game rip-off, I think. I don’t like “cutesy” decks, so I have no idea what this is doing in my collection. Ah well, roll with it.) Well, I may not be wild about the deck, but the cards themselves are old friends. (A bit like telling your good friend, “That dress looks like shit on you! Throw it out!” Now if you were a 7 of Swords, you’d then steal the dress from the trash for yourself, but you’re not & the dress is out of fashion.)  Today looks like it’s a BIG day for my Anima – she’s called upon first to be the Empress and then to keep in mind the qualities of XI, the Strength Arcanum. Let’s take a look at their bare bones first, and then I’ll launch into an amalgamation and then hypothesis.  Okay, bare bones. First, the Empress: She is on the Path of Daleth (14) in the Tree of Life; in astrology she is Venus in Taurus, icon of fertility and growth, and of course she’s an Earth Arcanum because of Taurus and, to be screamingly obvious, it IS the Earth. She likes to train her beauty behind her while promenading on the axis between Chokmah and Binah, and of course III is the result of the unbearable tension and the solution to the conundrum of the II.  II is champing at the bit to do something with all that encounter energy, and III is the result. “The Empress is the friendlier, more approachable aspect of the female archetype. She stands for maternity, love and mercy; at the same time she's a symbol for sexuality and emotion. She is pure feeling, absolutely unintellectual, but basically life. The Empress is the Great Mother, representing the beginning of all life. She is the power of nature, causing change, renewal, major plans.” (Raven) And left to my own words, I would say my Drive is devotion and maternity, while my Light is Love and Abundance.  However, the Empress also stands for passion, a phase in which we live life on an emotional and joyful basis, rather than on the thoughtful. There is danger in that, always living on the ‘qui vive.’ It’s fine when you ARE the Empress and have the resources of an empire to back up your word and promises, but we don’t all have access to our kingdoms all the time now, do we? (BTW and a propos of nothing, those triangles within triangles on the cards mean nothing.) Yet I have ultimate Faith in my Anima to handle WHATEVER comes down the turnpike – she is one tough dame, having been ‘leathered’ by fierce, no-holds-barred, gladiatorial combat for 63 years with Me! We are still standing; Horus knows we’ve knocked out enough “innocent” bystanders along the way! I prefer the conversation of II the High Priestess, but I prefer III when it comes to dazzling them on the dance floor. She’s got moves. And today with my Heart humming “I feel pretty, oh, so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and gay!” (Stephen Sondheim & Leonard Bernstein), I am accompanied by another old friend, XI Strength. (I prefer it when she wears that lovely gown in VIII, but she likes to play to the public most of the time, hence her XI garb; cloying faeries with hairy legs in Robin Hood drag are all the rage, it seems.) Bare bones, Mark, don’t let yourself be distracted . . . Crowley knew enough to rename Strength Passion, for a very good reason, the “primacy” of it. By that I mean it is one of the few REALLY hardwired wetware programs we have running ALL THE TIME: Strength IS Passion and vice versa. We may be in idle from time to time, but to cut the engine is to die. Bones . . . XI is the Path of Teth (19) in the Tree of Life. Astrologically she is Venus in Leo (ka-BAAM!) - the creative development of strength/passion leads to enjoyment and fulfillness. In the Zodiac she is placed in Leo, and she trips the light fantastic along the high wire running between Chesed and Geburah. She is, above all, a Fire element, so with Earth (III the Empress) it SHOULD be calm. We’ve been through her Number before; 11 = 1 + 2 = 2. There, so much for her skeleton. Strength “is the 1st step into the second decade of the Major Arcana, the point where the journey into the inner depth begins. In other decks, this trump is called 'The Power', a symbol for the mastery of our own animal side. Crowley named the card 'Lust' - and most people don't really think of mastering their inner animal, but enjoy it full tilt...” (Raven)  Of course the trick hidden in there is that we HAVE to let the animal romp some times, but NOT to our detriment. The ideal is to accept it as naturally a part of you, and to master it. Strength implies vitality, energy and power. The card tells me to use these riches. Or in other words, put your passion where your mouth is. I have a Drive of energy and passion here, and the Light for it is “vitality and unconditional devotion.” (Raven) All in all this is a fine day. I need to settle back in the passenger’s seat and let Her drive for today, and while I’m sometimes nervous when others drive, with Her I kick back. She knows what she’s doing. Today, exactly because I CAN trust her, I can live in and value the moment.    





Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Good morning and Welcome! to my Scales of Ma’at 2-card daily reading for 05-Nov-2015: the 8 of Quantum Space-Time and The Abyss and XVI Uriens. (Today’s deck is *The Shadow Tarot* by Linda Falorio. It comes with a companion book, which you will find absolutely necessary and of great help.) I’m doing something different today; I’m exploring one of the “dark” decks. “Dark” is really a misnomer, they are NOT dark as in “redolent of evil,” but as in “let’s do a little work on your Shadow side, shall we? Hmm?” Don’t let the Majors throw you; just subtract 11 from the numbering. (I’m still looking for the reasoning behind that. I’m sure it has to do with the loas – the ruling “divinities” or Energies. Something to be clear about when working with a deck like this is that you are working on the “night side of the tree,” the “Nightside of Eden” and the “Tunnels of Set,” “a network of dream cells in the subconscious mind.” (Kenneth Green). In other words, “This ain’t your momma’s Tarot, Virginia.” I’m using Ms. Falorio’s deck & book because they seem the lost approachable way to learn this method, this approach, this deck. I gather MS. Falorio knows whereof she speaks, being some grade of high initiate herself, but that isn’t the point; she opens, at least for me, more fully the Book of Life and Death since anything since my two original discoveries of the Tarot and Egyptology. (Not Erich Von Däniken’s “aliens from space,’ but the real profession of Egyptology; and not inventing a genealogy for Tarot, either!) The Tree of Life has a twin, the Tree of Death, and it is THAT with which this genre of deck works. So let’s dive in and see where the River Styx takes me/us. My Heart card today is Amdusias, the 8 of Quantum Space-Time and The Abyss. Quite a category, eh? I’m just going to have to give it to you straight and undiluted, because it is going to be Food For Thought in Translating 101 for me: “Demons of Quantum Space-Time and The Abyss. Rites of Sirius/ Alwass Ruled by Demons of the South-East and North-West, denizens of quantum space-time and the Abyss. Alien entities from the stars – the Nommo, the Deep Ones of Absu/ The Abyss penetrate the planetary life-wave via electromagnetic waves of quantum space-time for the invasion and control of Human consciousness. Mithraic rites, Shape-shifting, Lycanthropy, possession, Obeah, African and Oceanic cults. It goes on. So, let’s cut to the 8, and I’ll try to grok it at the same time as you. The 8 is titled “Indolence, Endings, Seeding of New Cycles.”  Amdusias, we are told, is the 67th Spirit in Order as Solomon bound them is a strong Duke of Hell who appears at first as a unicorn but will assume human shape upon request. Call upon him to hear musical instruments. His Shadow is the demon FURCAS, and call upon him to learn Astrology and Pyromancy. We-e-l-l, Okay. This is ALL another language for other energies, the Energies coursing around the Nightside Tree and its Paths. I have to quite literally guess by intuition, but I believe the Heart card today is talking to me about the need to meditate, contemplate, and absorb the fast & furious lessons of the past few months. This will be reinforced by my enforced post-operative inactivity and time spent at Frankenstein’s House of Physical Re-Education. It might be a good time to learn something deeper than my surface knowledge about the relationship between Astrology and the Tarot . . . we’ll see. Lately I have been feeling a strong desire to withdraw from active participations in the forums and spend a year reading & catching up on all the Tarot information I have ALREADY bought and have not had the time to crack their spines and hear them scream. And practice. And practice. And then perhaps return a better reader than before . . . on verra (French for “we’ll see.” J ) Today’s Heart card is accompanied by my Feather of Truth, XVI Uriens (Remember, this is NOT the Tower.) In actuality, he corresponds to the Hierophant. The design you see in the middle of the card is his “sigil,” painted on an inverted trial reaching deep into the Abyss. This is the vulva of a manifestation of the Mother, and Uriens bears the weight of her birth, the World, upon his shoulders. You auto-think of Atlas. There are symbols galore and awash on the card, and while they are fascinating, it would take a far longer entry than I usually enter here to go into them. What is important here is that the power of Uriens (me, today, or if you prefer, the “hint” from the Feather about where I should be concentrating my energies today) to ground oneself in self-validation. I am going to write that again – What is important is the power of Uriens to ground oneself in self-validation. That’s a fucking powerful statement, given some consideration. Inner strength & courage to live one’s convictions; facing the naked horror of existence without the illusions of divine protection. Dealings with the Law, Authority, Validation and Direction will all be riding on Uriens’ train, and looking for you, to “teach.” Now, a funny thing . . .  Ms. Falorio’s book, which provides the MAJOR portion of the “feed” for this reflection, is wonderfully complete everywhere but HERE. The last line on the page is, “on the other side,    -that’s it, no closing punctuation or quotation mark, nothing but blank white rest of the page, As if the writer had been snatched away mid-sentence by something far more powerful than she. I find it fascinating to    



 

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Good morning and Welcome! to the Scales of Ma’at for 04-Nov-2015: the 2 of Wands and XIII Death. Well, at least we won’t have any arguments about who gets 1st billing! (Today’s deck is *The Wild Unknown Tarot* by Kim Krans. It’s a work of art, a different look at the symbolism of the tarot, simple in its images yet profound in their meaning. Wonderful deck for contemplation, good deck for reads. (RWS-style) If nothing else, this deck “refreshes you,” and brings joy for the reader into its readings. It’s a treat for one’s self, but you won’t know that until you open it up and use it. It is a delight.) Let’s just move on down the airport sidewalk, shall we and pick up the 2 of Wands at Luggage. The idea has ben born, and now we are burning to put it into action. It’s a lot of Energy we are bandying about here – this 2 lives in Chokmah by Fire of course (Wands) and in Astrology hang onto your winged hat; it is Mars in the 1st decan of Aries. Mars & Aries – clear the decks! Clear the decks! “The power . . . in the Ace is given direction . . . . and a goal in the Chokmah is the best possible surrounding for the flaming forces, the first manifestation following the pure idea, the beginning of transformation.” (Raven) The energies are potent here, so be careful not to crush your newborn. My Drive is courage and the will to conquer while my Light provides power and creativity. IT is a good think I have all this bubbling energy today, because I may NEED it for a SUDDEN and DRAMATIC change in life, XIII Death. Nobody has EVER? EVER? EVER said that the Death card is inherently BAD – we ASSUME because we think of Death as a bad thing, that his most potent symbol will stand for the same thing; the brutal cessation of life and activity forevermore (sic). “Mais, Non! Héloise, ce n’est pas ça de tout !” I have my own major life change coming up just on the horizon, and that is the removal of a goodly part of my left leg and its replacement with manufactured parts. (I had this done once before, when I had the original accident, and at the time the gold standard was lots of stainless surgical steel – now I gather they print out the part they want at bedside while you wait for the printer to hurry up and finish – Horus!, doesn’t that sound familiar?) The real problem was that the cartilage had ceased to exist, so it was just bone on bone or bone on steel. I asked them to get Ciro Marchetti in to colorize the new interior machinery but they absolutely refused! Bastardi! At least I am looking positively at the connection between XIII and the replacement of the leg is rather a broad sweep, I admit. This card also applies EXACTLY to what is going on in the interior work, as well. My latest visual for myself and my work is that I am the team in the interior of this magnificent, one-of-a-kind palace, and I’m heading up the effort to bring the jewel-box brilliance back to the interior, so that it may be worth of its next occupant. “What do my bones look like? Ahahaha, aren’t you the funny one, Mr. Obvious. Look and count, idiot.” Alright, no need to get snappish! ‘giggle): XIII, - Death, is filing his nails on the Path of Nun (24) in the Tree of Life. Not surprising, and yet, surprising for him when he meets a Saturnian or admirer of Saturn, he plays Saturn in House 8 - the planet of “The Border,” the House of 'Death and Rebirth. I tiptoe between Tiphareth and Netzach and yes, though you may find it hard to credit, my element is Water. (Think about it.) If 12 is the perfection of Number, then I am that one step beyond, the Destruction. I am not so naïve, though, as are the younger, that I think it stops with me. I am merely a Portal, but enjoy my role as much as any mummer! I’ll never give the game away, although they already know it. But the demands of their culture and all that frippery, you know – the TRUEST representation of Me, the portrait that hangs in the Halls of Hathor, is the black circle on the white background. And even there, I’m not REALLY pictured, because I am the exact moment the circle breaks and lets the imprisoned spirit free. I bring Joy; I wish you people knew that. That’s my voice, BTW, therefore no quotes. I say it because it is important, and it is important because I know that about myself (again bringing the macro to the micro); I DO NOT fear death, nor Death.  I used to fear it. I used to fear death by fire, in particular. Then, a cinema experience gave me a bit of perspective on my fear, and it has been receding ever since. I don’t think I am a brave man. I would probably crumble under torture. But I DO like to think that I would “hold out unto death” to protect those I love. Tara can be rebuilt, Scarlett can’t. My Drive here is death and Rebirth, transformation and metamorphosis. Wisdom should make an appearance dressed by Enlightenment All is lit by my Light, which is: Get rid of the old, make way for the New.   



Monday, November 2, 2015

Good morning and Welcome! to my Scales of Ma’at 2-card daily reading for 03-Nov-2015: XI Strength and the 10 of Swords, representing respectively my Heart and the Feather of Truth.  (Today’s deck is *Le Tarot de la Rose Sacrée* by Johanna Sherman. [Whether it is actually French, or I have a French version, is unknown.] It is a good deck centered around the mysteries of the Rosy Cross, of course. Illustrations are bright & lively. A totally servable deck!) I’m feeling the itch; you know the one, the itch to change your daily go-to reading. Something I in the works, stay tuned. For today, however, it is the tried & true. My Heart comes roaring in like a Lion, but it is an all an M-G-M show because he is being ridden by a girl with an elaborate coiffure. The blend of the two “manes” has brought about equilibrium, equality and a harnessing of Forces neither would be capable of alone. (I am setting aside my bugaboo about the numbering of Strength.) The Royal Road surrounded by the riotous Garden of Possibilities surrounds them, yet they forge ahead? Their destiny calls. This card signals the civilization of the instincts and the cultivation of the Self by way of the Other. I would say let’s peek at the bones, and look at Kabbalistic and alchemical connections, but – euh – not today, I’m not in the mood. Though the lion be tamed, he doesn’t wish to dilly-dally. My Heart is feeling like striding and pushing ahead and carrying our balance on down the Path when we are met by the Feather of Truth for today, something that it is in my best interests to heed: well, shit, the 10 of Swords; Ruin. Well fuck me running. (Well, I have to do it; I have to open it up and look at the innards to see the pulsing cancer at its center.) I’m in Malkuth on the Tree of Life, and I’m Air. In astrology I am the Sun in the 3rd decan of Gemini. My Drive is transformation while my Light is rebirth, the end of a cycle. With the Ten of Swords, the development of human intellect has consequently reached its last step - from the birth of intellect within the Ace to complete ruin within the grounds of the Ten. “The card teaches the lesson that endless fighting ends with destruction, endless analysis with the complete loss of hope and belief. It forces the lesson of the Nine of Swords to its inevitable conclusion. But with the Sun above it, it does not lack every hope. It will silently return to its origin again, to the first spark of mind in the Ace, to start all over again. The big hope in here is that the lessons from the journey absolved won't get forgotten.” (Raven) I feel as if I just experienced *Thus Sprach Zarathustra* by Richard Strauss. It feels like a call to arms, doesn’t it? Just when arms have proven their utter futility. Ha-ha, one of Tarot’s little jokes & lessons. As to what the Feather signifies for me personally, I shall have to think about that a bit. Which Project, which realm, which moral and emotional & perhaps even physical investment, is going to collapse and die at my feet, stuttering, “Your pardon, My Grace; I failed.”? Of course, it could be less bloody than that; I could witness the drying out of a fruit tree in my garden and be sad at its loss but not moved to abandon the garden altogether. It could be more of a metaphysical musing on the futile means of violence and their lack of solution, harmony and compassion. I’m in a phase right now where I am “disliking” world stupidity and cruelty and acts of violence at an more heightened level that normal, perhaps because compassion and mercy are hopefully blooming in the mud of my roots and I am even more sensitive than normal to the path of apocalyptic self-immolation that humanity is forging for itself one thoughtless step and after another. The card is summary: glittering, icy, blood-stained swords piercing THE Tree wrapped in brambles, all reflected in cold, uncaring Moon. It’s more of a crucifixion than the crucifixion! Well, I’m not going to cry, weep, gnash my teeth and tear my hair just yet. The card signifies a MENTAL death, 1st of all. Dissection and analysis have arrived at term, and the field is populated with failure, desolation, chagrin and affliction. Paranoia is the air we breathe. The FREEDOM here is TOTAL. Something intellectual, something mental, is DYING or is DEAD, and I am FREE. My recent spate of really hard work, work-my-ass-off hard work, has paid off. Like the Lion and the Maiden I can go forward in equilibrium and harnessed strength. This is excellent news. (“By the way, every Ten in the Minor Arcana stands for the end of a process, for the need to restart or at least variate, only the Ten of Swords have an amazingly crude way to put it into words - that's just the way they are.” Raven)

amidst a swirling maelstrom
of imploding suns and stars and space dust
a dazzling supernova burns itself
so brightly, only for a moment
before it is suddenly devoured into
a cosmic black hole, that it’s fiery tongue
may remain silenced for an eternity
and all is still
yet from within arises a tiny spark
that promises to light
the entire void within the universe
it grows but quickly and burns
much brighter; it plays witness
as myriads of young suns blossom forth
and wake the galaxy into a new life.
10.17.84  Ester Grace









Good morning and Welcome! to the Scales of Ma’at daily draw for 01-Nov-2015: the 9 of Hearts as my Heart card and as the Feather of Truth is the Queen of Pentacles. (Today’s Tarot is the *Witches Tarot* by Ellen Dugan.)  Well ke-e-r-a-p. Here we go with three of Swords again, and as we know, I don’t fear the 3 but it does cause anguish because it sops up time like a sponge.  Also, while technically flawless, this 3 of Swords leaves me unmoved. It is an exercise, not a work of passion. Too bad. It sits in Binah, is an Air card, and astrologically is Saturn in the 2nd decan of Libra. This illustrated card can tell us NOTHING, so let’s look at its bones: here’s what Raven has to say, and I agree, “Sorrow- With the Three, the Swords are entering Binah, the fields of understanding, of perception and realization, and they reveal the dark side of understanding - or the truth behind the common saying that idiots are the happier people. [Remember that? mm] It is the curse of the Swords to be so clear and honest, to analyze what others prefer to ignore, to put in plain light what others hide in the dark. They are not like the Cups who are lucky when they understand themselves, the Swords are the Mind and when understanding what they see, they dive into melancholy.” (Raven)  So, my Drive is melancholia, facing up to a painful truth and doing this with my Light of understanding and the sobering of false illusions. I’m accompanied on this somewhat nigaud task is the Queen of Pentacles, (Queen of the thrones of Earth to give her her Crowleyian/GD title.) She’s currently got her luggage unpacked in Binah in the Tree of Life She seems to like horned, hooved playmates as she is sharing both Sagittarius and Capricorn. She is Water in Earth, the mother of her element, but also as stable and reliable as the Earth. “The Queen of Disks is kind and tender, friendly and good-hearted; she has fine instincts and intuitions. She is strong and sensitive, protects her house and family and cares as well for emotional and material well-being. She is calm and practicable and can be a good, industrious worker.” (Raven) Now, if you are really lucky, she loves you “à la folie” and is immensely rich! HA!  We’re going to have to look at the bones, again, because the illustration here is “nice.” “Nice” as in “Oh look, honey, we can put this in the guest bathroom. It won’t offend anyone.” (Yeah, with any luck, it’ll help some wandering Tarologue take a good dump. Tarologues = that’s us. It’s the French for Tarot card reader, & I LIKE it. One [1] word speaks of specialty [angiologue, phlébologue, géologue, archéologue etc.] and takes care of silly questions from lookieLous. “What do you do for a living?” “I’m a Tarologue. Now step back, please, I’m in a hurry and lives are in danger.” On a functional level, the Queen of Pentacles is, in a minor echo kind of way, my wife at the moment and to a certain extent myself. The Earth has been good to us, we need to be good caretakers, too, and that can take time & effort, both of which we can afford. We ask the Earth for a LOT, it occurs to me, and I tend to be more conscious of that than my wife, for whom it is simply a given. Sometimes I’m bothered that we can’t do more to nourish her back to tip-top form, but we do what we can, which is still pissing in one’s diapers. The world needs powerful champions right now; I hope, fervently, that they arrive. I’m not tickled down in my Secret Astral Reproductive Glands with today’s reading, but I don’t feel the need for a hemorrhoidectomy, either. Today was something I haven’t had for a while – dishwater dull. And you know what? Some days are like that – dishwater dull. A Good day, however, to do “housekeeping” shit, whatever that may be – from sweeping cobwebs to paying bills. Personally, I’ll polish all the sterling silver frames that hold photos of charming me in wonderful places with wonderful people. I really am wonderful, you know. . . . LOLOLOLOLOL. “My heart’s haven surrounds me always.”